Life Coaching ist schnell und direkt. Es ist eine praktische und effektive Methode, Energieblockaden in den verschiedenen Bereichen Ihres Lebens aufzulösen. Sie befreien sich damit von nicht sofort erkennbaren Hindernissen und richten Ihr Leben nur noch nach Ihren eigenen Vorstellungen aus.
Wenn Sie mehr wissen möchten ...... www.ihr-life-coach.de
Mit besten Grüßen
Heinz J. Fritz
Showing posts with label Coaching. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Coaching. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Monday, November 30, 2009
Writing as Self Coaching
In his book “Unter Vier Augen: Coaching für Manager” (coaching for managers) Wolfgang Looss mentioned that there are many alternatives to resolve your issues before you call for professional coach: conversation with yourself, with books, with your life partners, with your friends and colleagues, conversation with your bosses, depending on your specific situations.
One possibility for conversation with your self is writing. This is the most effective way for my self coaching. When I have an uneasy feeling or when I face challenges I write it down my thoughts and feeling. To make it interesting and maybe valuable some time I write down in form of stories and some times I publish it on my blog.
If I do not like the story, I change a little the course of the story, so that I feel more comfortable about it. By modification of the story, I shift my feeling about the situation. By shifting my feeling, I changed literally my realities. It takes me about one hour to write a story. I think it is a relatively effective alternative to a coaching session.
As wonderful by-products, you, as my blog reader, can enjoy the stories I published at my blog. Is it not amazing? ;-)
One possibility for conversation with your self is writing. This is the most effective way for my self coaching. When I have an uneasy feeling or when I face challenges I write it down my thoughts and feeling. To make it interesting and maybe valuable some time I write down in form of stories and some times I publish it on my blog.
If I do not like the story, I change a little the course of the story, so that I feel more comfortable about it. By modification of the story, I shift my feeling about the situation. By shifting my feeling, I changed literally my realities. It takes me about one hour to write a story. I think it is a relatively effective alternative to a coaching session.
As wonderful by-products, you, as my blog reader, can enjoy the stories I published at my blog. Is it not amazing? ;-)
Thursday, November 26, 2009
How to Deal with Uncertainty in Organisational Changes?
In my 18 Years career in the industry, I got about 20 Bosses. The company I worked for changed the owners and names for four times. Yesterday I made a friend and what he told me broke all my records, he got this year alone already 6 bosses in a row.
I asked him: “How do you deal with the uncertainty of the organisational changes?”
He smiled and answered with a lightness: “I do not really deal with it. The uncertainty just does not exist any more.”
I was bluffed: “What do you mean, exactly?”
He smiled again and said: “Well, in the past I was always seeking for advices from my boss, when there is an organisational change. Recently, I realize that it was just not possible. My boss lived in uncertainty himself, and his boss does not really know what his next job will be and if he would have a job himself within the company at all.”
“So you lost completely the orientation.” I added.
He responded: “Until I changed my strategy. I set my own goals. There are two parts. First from what I know in the current situation what should I do to add value for the company, this is related to create either more sales or to reduce more cost. And second, what should I do to create for me more career chance within the company and outside.”
I said: “That sounds interesting. What is the outcome of that strategy?”
“The results are that I know at any given time of organisational change what I should do and feel really empowered.”
I asked him: “How do you deal with the uncertainty of the organisational changes?”
He smiled and answered with a lightness: “I do not really deal with it. The uncertainty just does not exist any more.”
I was bluffed: “What do you mean, exactly?”
He smiled again and said: “Well, in the past I was always seeking for advices from my boss, when there is an organisational change. Recently, I realize that it was just not possible. My boss lived in uncertainty himself, and his boss does not really know what his next job will be and if he would have a job himself within the company at all.”
“So you lost completely the orientation.” I added.
He responded: “Until I changed my strategy. I set my own goals. There are two parts. First from what I know in the current situation what should I do to add value for the company, this is related to create either more sales or to reduce more cost. And second, what should I do to create for me more career chance within the company and outside.”
I said: “That sounds interesting. What is the outcome of that strategy?”
“The results are that I know at any given time of organisational change what I should do and feel really empowered.”
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Client Oriented Coaching Approach (COCA) by Wenyue Ding
Yesterday a coaching colleague asked me a very fundamental question: what is your special and unique coaching approach (Auf Deutsch: Coaching Ansatz). At that time I was unclear. This morning I got an answer: coca! Client Oriented Coaching Approach. (Copy Right Notice: All Right Reserved. Please refer to the origination when you use this name.) (Auf Deutsch: Klienten Orientierten Coaching Ansatz: KOCA)
Coca is based on three believes:
1) Coaching is vehicle: Coaching is nothing else than a tool to bring SOMETHING from A to B. The original meaning of coach is vehicle. Therefore all the tools and methods are allowed in the coaching, which meet this purpose. The only question remains: is this specific method or tool effective and efficient? There is no dogma.
2) Beyond the Boundary of I: in the traditional coaching approaches there are two parties involved: the coach and the coachee (client), as separated entities. However, this view limits us from the fact that coach and coachee build actually a system with very special relationship. They stay in an energy field. Coaching is about to bring this energy field to somewhere.
3) Time and space are illusions: Once it is clear where this energy field should go, then the way of coaching can be obtained. Sometimes face to face sessions with systemic questions and answers(see "Beratung ohne Ratschlag" by Sonja Radaz) can be the most effective way, some times to tell a story is the simplest approach, sometimes email communication can work wonderfully. Some times meditation can reach extra ordinary results. To realize the enlightment it can take a single question at this moment or a whole life of suffering. So the coaching contract should be more focused on the clear defined outcomes. The duration or the ways are secondary questions.
Therefore to select a right coach it is important to know and feel if you can come along with him/her and if the coach has the wisdom and flexibility to chose with you the most cost effective and results oriented way for your very special issues.
Coca is based on three believes:
1) Coaching is vehicle: Coaching is nothing else than a tool to bring SOMETHING from A to B. The original meaning of coach is vehicle. Therefore all the tools and methods are allowed in the coaching, which meet this purpose. The only question remains: is this specific method or tool effective and efficient? There is no dogma.
2) Beyond the Boundary of I: in the traditional coaching approaches there are two parties involved: the coach and the coachee (client), as separated entities. However, this view limits us from the fact that coach and coachee build actually a system with very special relationship. They stay in an energy field. Coaching is about to bring this energy field to somewhere.
3) Time and space are illusions: Once it is clear where this energy field should go, then the way of coaching can be obtained. Sometimes face to face sessions with systemic questions and answers(see "Beratung ohne Ratschlag" by Sonja Radaz) can be the most effective way, some times to tell a story is the simplest approach, sometimes email communication can work wonderfully. Some times meditation can reach extra ordinary results. To realize the enlightment it can take a single question at this moment or a whole life of suffering. So the coaching contract should be more focused on the clear defined outcomes. The duration or the ways are secondary questions.
Therefore to select a right coach it is important to know and feel if you can come along with him/her and if the coach has the wisdom and flexibility to chose with you the most cost effective and results oriented way for your very special issues.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Market Segmentation of Coaching in Germany for Newcomers
When you decide to enter into the coaching business in Germany, please read the article "Grau grau ist der Coachingmarkt" by Cordula Ehms. Obviously, the reputation of the title coach is not as good as it should be.
If you would like to know the market trend in Germany, here is an article: “Markt und Trends im Coaching: Der Coaching-Markt professionalisiert" by Klemens Lange.
From both articles above and from the answers to the question I posted on the news group Coaching at XING my conclusion is that only a small percentage (<10) of Coaches do earn their income from coaching alone. The majority are doing something else, for example training, consulting, therapy etc.
There are also uncountable coaching approaches in the market. A systematic frame concept with a three dimensional “magic” cube is provided in “Rahmenkonzept für den Überblick über Coaching-Ansätze und Coaching-Ausbildung” by Harald Geißler.
The market requires more and more coaches with special competences other than pure process coaching. Therefore, in case you want to enter into the coaching business, be prepared that you offer other services for a special area in addition to your coaching offers. And it will help you to market your coaching services.
How is the market segmented? And here is my trial which is not based on any scientific research. I would segment the market for the coaching newcomers in four segments:
1) The high end
The clients are successful entrepreneurs, doctors, artists, top politician, top managers (CEO). They are looking for coaches with long coaching reputation, spiritual maturity and competencies in some special areas. The honorary paid can be expected between 500 to 1300 € per hour. The clients are usually self payers. exMarketing strategy here is, long enough in the coaching business, publication of books, to be invited for speeches for important conferences. So be patient and work hard and long enough if you want to enter this market.
2) The mass market
Here is the lion share of the market. The clients are usually large, multi-national companies. They are looking for coaching company with a large pool of coaches, so the decision maker, usually personal developers, will have easy time to select the right coaches for their needs. The honorary for the coaching company would range from 200 to 300 €. The clients are company payers. Your marketing strategy as newcomer is to cooperate with those well-established coaching company. Certainly the coaching company will charge their fees.
3) The new market
The new market is coming from the small and medium size business. The decision makers are usually the company owner. They are looking for competent coaches with low prices between 100 to 150 €. The clients are usually company payers. Also, the clients are more and more willing to the online coaching services. Your marketing strategy here is the reference. Talk to your friends if they can recommend you to any one who might need coaching. Do a nice web site, write a blog, do volunteer job for online networking groups. Join reference groups among your coaching colleagues. Write news articles. Answer to online questions.
4) The low end
These are the self payers. These people are more open-minded for online coaching through emaile, telephone coaching, skype coaching. They are willing to pay a coaching services between 30 to 100 € depending on the topics. The clients are self payers. The key marketing strategy here is web site, newsletters, blogs. Internet marketing is a topic itself and I am still need to figure out how to do it. But if you understand it, the potential is unlimited, because you are not bound to the locations where you live and work. And this is an efficient way to reach people international.
Acknowledgements: I got lot of advices and insights from members of the news group coaching from XING. Thanks to all the experts.
If you would like to know the market trend in Germany, here is an article: “Markt und Trends im Coaching: Der Coaching-Markt professionalisiert" by Klemens Lange.
From both articles above and from the answers to the question I posted on the news group Coaching at XING my conclusion is that only a small percentage (<10) of Coaches do earn their income from coaching alone. The majority are doing something else, for example training, consulting, therapy etc.
There are also uncountable coaching approaches in the market. A systematic frame concept with a three dimensional “magic” cube is provided in “Rahmenkonzept für den Überblick über Coaching-Ansätze und Coaching-Ausbildung” by Harald Geißler.
The market requires more and more coaches with special competences other than pure process coaching. Therefore, in case you want to enter into the coaching business, be prepared that you offer other services for a special area in addition to your coaching offers. And it will help you to market your coaching services.
How is the market segmented? And here is my trial which is not based on any scientific research. I would segment the market for the coaching newcomers in four segments:
1) The high end
The clients are successful entrepreneurs, doctors, artists, top politician, top managers (CEO). They are looking for coaches with long coaching reputation, spiritual maturity and competencies in some special areas. The honorary paid can be expected between 500 to 1300 € per hour. The clients are usually self payers. exMarketing strategy here is, long enough in the coaching business, publication of books, to be invited for speeches for important conferences. So be patient and work hard and long enough if you want to enter this market.
2) The mass market
Here is the lion share of the market. The clients are usually large, multi-national companies. They are looking for coaching company with a large pool of coaches, so the decision maker, usually personal developers, will have easy time to select the right coaches for their needs. The honorary for the coaching company would range from 200 to 300 €. The clients are company payers. Your marketing strategy as newcomer is to cooperate with those well-established coaching company. Certainly the coaching company will charge their fees.
3) The new market
The new market is coming from the small and medium size business. The decision makers are usually the company owner. They are looking for competent coaches with low prices between 100 to 150 €. The clients are usually company payers. Also, the clients are more and more willing to the online coaching services. Your marketing strategy here is the reference. Talk to your friends if they can recommend you to any one who might need coaching. Do a nice web site, write a blog, do volunteer job for online networking groups. Join reference groups among your coaching colleagues. Write news articles. Answer to online questions.
4) The low end
These are the self payers. These people are more open-minded for online coaching through emaile, telephone coaching, skype coaching. They are willing to pay a coaching services between 30 to 100 € depending on the topics. The clients are self payers. The key marketing strategy here is web site, newsletters, blogs. Internet marketing is a topic itself and I am still need to figure out how to do it. But if you understand it, the potential is unlimited, because you are not bound to the locations where you live and work. And this is an efficient way to reach people international.
Acknowledgements: I got lot of advices and insights from members of the news group coaching from XING. Thanks to all the experts.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Everything Is Easy
My guitar teacher once told me: „If you practice guitar correctly, it should be easy and it should not take long hours. Why? If you practice in a wrong way, the more you practice the more difficult for you to unlearn the bad habits.“
When I think back, I realize that all the major mile stones in my life were coming without any struggles:
1. I was nominated for a university exchange program to Germany without any efforts from my side.
2. I got my first job without lengthy recruiting process. I contacted a former PhD student of my PhD Professor. And that was it.
3. I met my wife coincidently in my friend apartment in Cologne. I wrote her a letter. Few years later we got married, until today, 25 years later.
4. The chance to go back to Shanghai as Expatriate came without any efforts from my side.
In contrast I put a lot of efforts, energy in some projects which did not succeed as I would have wished. My conclusion is, if you do the things in the right way, it should be easy. It should come naturally to success.
When I observe how people work in some companies, I found out that people who work long hours and unhappy are usually people who often create cost of non-quality. They try to fight in all fronts and try to maximise ambiguous benefits. It is doubtable that they create more value overall for the company and for the customers than other people in the company.
Life should be easy, if your mind, body and soul are in perfect alignment.
Life should be easy, if you extend your boundary as broader as you can image.
Life should be easy, if you have complete clarify about what you want to achieve.
Life should be easy, if you are certain that you will eventually achieve your goals.
Life should be easy, if you live your passion and dreams.
Life should be easy, if you take time to enjoy it.
Life should be easy, if you love everything around you including yourself.
When I think back, I realize that all the major mile stones in my life were coming without any struggles:
1. I was nominated for a university exchange program to Germany without any efforts from my side.
2. I got my first job without lengthy recruiting process. I contacted a former PhD student of my PhD Professor. And that was it.
3. I met my wife coincidently in my friend apartment in Cologne. I wrote her a letter. Few years later we got married, until today, 25 years later.
4. The chance to go back to Shanghai as Expatriate came without any efforts from my side.
In contrast I put a lot of efforts, energy in some projects which did not succeed as I would have wished. My conclusion is, if you do the things in the right way, it should be easy. It should come naturally to success.
When I observe how people work in some companies, I found out that people who work long hours and unhappy are usually people who often create cost of non-quality. They try to fight in all fronts and try to maximise ambiguous benefits. It is doubtable that they create more value overall for the company and for the customers than other people in the company.
Life should be easy, if your mind, body and soul are in perfect alignment.
Life should be easy, if you extend your boundary as broader as you can image.
Life should be easy, if you have complete clarify about what you want to achieve.
Life should be easy, if you are certain that you will eventually achieve your goals.
Life should be easy, if you live your passion and dreams.
Life should be easy, if you take time to enjoy it.
Life should be easy, if you love everything around you including yourself.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
The Perspective of a Wise Man
Yesterday night I happened to meet an old friend here in Singapore. I remember that we have not met for more than four years. He was happy, relaxed and in three weeks he will reach an important mile stone: turning to 50. A big party was planned in Phuket, Thailand with more than 30 people from different continents of the world.
The last time I met him he was at a critical point to decide the next career steps. There were two options to choice:
1) To go to a small size company with higher and more challenging responsibilities. The risk factor would also be bigger.
2) To go to a bigger company with smaller responsibilities and doing similar job as before. The risk factor would be smaller.
He talked about those two real options in full details and said: “I did not make up my mind clear yet, but I still have two weeks time to think about it.”
Then he stopped talking. I realized that he actually asked my options without directly asking. He was very successful and determined. Probably he was too proud to ask. At that moment I knew how to give him advice without hurting his feelings.
I said: “My friend, let me ask you a question. Suppose you are now at age 60 and you are very successful in every aspects of your life.” His eyes radiated and I got his attention. “When you look back, how would you (old and wise) judge the decision of the young man at his life transforming moment? For which decision he would feel more proud, more satisfied and happier?”
My friend smiled and I knew that he made a decision in his mind.
The last time I met him he was at a critical point to decide the next career steps. There were two options to choice:
1) To go to a small size company with higher and more challenging responsibilities. The risk factor would also be bigger.
2) To go to a bigger company with smaller responsibilities and doing similar job as before. The risk factor would be smaller.
He talked about those two real options in full details and said: “I did not make up my mind clear yet, but I still have two weeks time to think about it.”
Then he stopped talking. I realized that he actually asked my options without directly asking. He was very successful and determined. Probably he was too proud to ask. At that moment I knew how to give him advice without hurting his feelings.
I said: “My friend, let me ask you a question. Suppose you are now at age 60 and you are very successful in every aspects of your life.” His eyes radiated and I got his attention. “When you look back, how would you (old and wise) judge the decision of the young man at his life transforming moment? For which decision he would feel more proud, more satisfied and happier?”
My friend smiled and I knew that he made a decision in his mind.
Friday, October 2, 2009
Second Profession for the Second Half of Your Life
People in our age may start to think about the following question: what would I do in my second half of the life?
Just take an example: I worked in Telecommunication Industry for last 18 years and can hardly image to continue in that industry for next 18 years until I would be able to retire officially. Even if I would like to, my employer with best intention may not be able to keep me that long.
A colleague of mine, a highly capable female professional decided two years ago to be a Yoga teacher. And now she seems to be extremely happy with that decision.
During today’s lunch I opened this discussion with few colleagues. I started saying to a colleague: “You are maintaining an image of a perfect detective with you cool look, a long coat, analytical capability and communication skill.” He laughed: “There might be a market for coaching for second profession for the second half of the life for you. But detectives are absolutely not what I would do.”
People with our experiences are extremely valuable when we focus on our strengths. And generally education in its broadest scope can be one of the areas you might want to look for opportunities. In that industry your value will increase when you get older, provided that you never stop adapting and learning new things.
Another growth industry will be something I would call “how people spend their leisure time?”. Think about how often you go to massage in China compared how often you go massage in Germany. Productivity will grow, efficiency will increase. People will work generally less time with more results. They will generally have more money and have more idle time. What are they going to do with the extra time and extra money? There is a market from macro economy perspective.
Then we have some well known growth industries such as alternative energy and health care. If you are working in one of the related industries, you are lucky and can try to move to one of the hot spots for your second half of your professional life.
It is your life and you absolutely deserve the best out of it.
Just take an example: I worked in Telecommunication Industry for last 18 years and can hardly image to continue in that industry for next 18 years until I would be able to retire officially. Even if I would like to, my employer with best intention may not be able to keep me that long.
A colleague of mine, a highly capable female professional decided two years ago to be a Yoga teacher. And now she seems to be extremely happy with that decision.
During today’s lunch I opened this discussion with few colleagues. I started saying to a colleague: “You are maintaining an image of a perfect detective with you cool look, a long coat, analytical capability and communication skill.” He laughed: “There might be a market for coaching for second profession for the second half of the life for you. But detectives are absolutely not what I would do.”
People with our experiences are extremely valuable when we focus on our strengths. And generally education in its broadest scope can be one of the areas you might want to look for opportunities. In that industry your value will increase when you get older, provided that you never stop adapting and learning new things.
Another growth industry will be something I would call “how people spend their leisure time?”. Think about how often you go to massage in China compared how often you go massage in Germany. Productivity will grow, efficiency will increase. People will work generally less time with more results. They will generally have more money and have more idle time. What are they going to do with the extra time and extra money? There is a market from macro economy perspective.
Then we have some well known growth industries such as alternative energy and health care. If you are working in one of the related industries, you are lucky and can try to move to one of the hot spots for your second half of your professional life.
It is your life and you absolutely deserve the best out of it.
Monday, July 6, 2009
How to Raise Children Effectively? Continued
Last Friday we went to an India Restaurant at the Hong Mei Entertainment Street to celebrate for my second daughter Katharine receiving the school certificates. We are all very proud that she ended up with the second best student at her level. We are proud because she was not always liked that as her sister.
After she graded from primary school to high school (Gymnasium), she was pending between the score of 2 to 4 (with 1 the best and 6 the worst). My wife tried to help her to be better and educated her to be more disciplined. We knew that she is intelligent and talented in many ways. But my wife and she struggled for a long time. And one day I decided to try a new method that I learned from leadership training: making the change seems to be easy.
One day in a very casual atmosphere I spoke to Katherine: “Look. Would you try one thing for me? Try to improve only one point in only one subject, what ever subject you would like to chose, while remain the scores for all other subjects the same during the next semester.” It sounded for her to be easy to achieve, so she promised: “I will try.”
By the end of the semester, she improved one point not only in one subject, but in three subjects. We were very happy. We did not make more ambitions goal for her, but told her: “That is great achievement. For the next semester, would you try only to improve one point for only one subject you chose, based on your current performance.” She confidently said: “Yes. I will try.”
During all the semesters she continuously put more efforts. And the result today is really impressive with the average score of 1.3. In addition she has a great interest and talent in music and playing well guitar.
I believe that because of the pressure in the industries the management often set too high goals for people to fail, not to achieve. And while people fail, they develop a habit of failing and lose confidence in achieving. Since they can not meet the goals anyhow, why should they bother even to make any efforts?
What we can learn from Katharine is to make changes or improvements seem to be easy, so we can succeed and we have the ambition to overachieve, not because of the pressure coming from outside, but because of the inner drive to be the best we can be!
After she graded from primary school to high school (Gymnasium), she was pending between the score of 2 to 4 (with 1 the best and 6 the worst). My wife tried to help her to be better and educated her to be more disciplined. We knew that she is intelligent and talented in many ways. But my wife and she struggled for a long time. And one day I decided to try a new method that I learned from leadership training: making the change seems to be easy.
One day in a very casual atmosphere I spoke to Katherine: “Look. Would you try one thing for me? Try to improve only one point in only one subject, what ever subject you would like to chose, while remain the scores for all other subjects the same during the next semester.” It sounded for her to be easy to achieve, so she promised: “I will try.”
By the end of the semester, she improved one point not only in one subject, but in three subjects. We were very happy. We did not make more ambitions goal for her, but told her: “That is great achievement. For the next semester, would you try only to improve one point for only one subject you chose, based on your current performance.” She confidently said: “Yes. I will try.”
During all the semesters she continuously put more efforts. And the result today is really impressive with the average score of 1.3. In addition she has a great interest and talent in music and playing well guitar.
I believe that because of the pressure in the industries the management often set too high goals for people to fail, not to achieve. And while people fail, they develop a habit of failing and lose confidence in achieving. Since they can not meet the goals anyhow, why should they bother even to make any efforts?
What we can learn from Katharine is to make changes or improvements seem to be easy, so we can succeed and we have the ambition to overachieve, not because of the pressure coming from outside, but because of the inner drive to be the best we can be!
Monday, June 8, 2009
Coaching for Talented Leaders
Why do talented leaders still need coaching? They are smart people. They have skills to lead big organisations or companies, driving excellent results, and they even have coaching capability to help others to be better. Why do they still need coaching for themselves?
The answer is pretty simple. Although talented leaders know how to behave in almost all the situations – theoretically - they some times miss the perspectives from others. They are so focused leading other people and can sometimes not clearly see themselves in the equation. Therefore they need a mirror.
Good coaching provides them other party’s perspective, a mirror that should reflect exactly how they appear to others. Therefore excellent coaches do not teach. They ask questions instead of giving instructions. Those questions will lead to more clarity and insight about how the person being coached really is, how he thinks, behaves and acts.
Personally I coach regularly 3 to 4 people whom I really respect and admire. And I have people coaching me on regular basis. Some times we coach each other on different subjects.
It is really a rewarding activity for the coach and for the person being coached, because while you get to know yourself better through different perspective, your goals and purpose of life will become crystal clear, you will feel happier.
The answer is pretty simple. Although talented leaders know how to behave in almost all the situations – theoretically - they some times miss the perspectives from others. They are so focused leading other people and can sometimes not clearly see themselves in the equation. Therefore they need a mirror.
Good coaching provides them other party’s perspective, a mirror that should reflect exactly how they appear to others. Therefore excellent coaches do not teach. They ask questions instead of giving instructions. Those questions will lead to more clarity and insight about how the person being coached really is, how he thinks, behaves and acts.
Personally I coach regularly 3 to 4 people whom I really respect and admire. And I have people coaching me on regular basis. Some times we coach each other on different subjects.
It is really a rewarding activity for the coach and for the person being coached, because while you get to know yourself better through different perspective, your goals and purpose of life will become crystal clear, you will feel happier.
Friday, June 5, 2009
Feeling of Importance
All human beings are looking for a feeling of importance. This is the main reason for most people working hard, getting up the corporate latter, learning a new skill, buying a bigger care, a bigger house, entering into a religion group. It is the same feeling of importance for most of the bloggers to write persistently on the internet.
So if you want to make friends in your working environment, there is only one rule you ought to follow: always rise in other people the feeling of importance and never hurt it.
Here a negative example: when a boss asked the employee about his aspiration, the employee answered: “I want to take over your job in two years.” It may sound that the employee had high ambition, but he may not make friend with his boss. Why? Because he unconsciously hurt the feeling of importance for his boss. The boss may think, do you really believe that my job is so easy to handle?
Honestly I made similar mistakes several times. And I really regret it now. It is good to rise my own feeling of importance. But there is no need to hurt feeling of importance of others at the same time.
So if you want to make friends in your working environment, there is only one rule you ought to follow: always rise in other people the feeling of importance and never hurt it.
Here a negative example: when a boss asked the employee about his aspiration, the employee answered: “I want to take over your job in two years.” It may sound that the employee had high ambition, but he may not make friend with his boss. Why? Because he unconsciously hurt the feeling of importance for his boss. The boss may think, do you really believe that my job is so easy to handle?
Honestly I made similar mistakes several times. And I really regret it now. It is good to rise my own feeling of importance. But there is no need to hurt feeling of importance of others at the same time.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Changing Life Forever
There are two ways to change life. One of them is called life changing moments. The other is called life changing habits.
Life Changing Moments
Some of my life changing moments are
- Met a passionate mathematic teacher so I started to love mathematics
- Passed the University Entry Examination so I entered into one of the best Universities in Shanghai
- Selected to the student exchange program so I could study in German
- Fall in love with a girl secretly who is interested in philosophy so I started to be interested in philosophy, religions, success teachings
- Met my wife so I am married for 23 years
- Kids were born so I enjoy the real family life in its full abundance
- Finished the PhD so I got a job in Germany
- Moved back to Shanghai so I rediscover the whole new aspects of life
These are things that revolutionized my life. Some of those things I planned. Others just happened without slightest hints in advances.
Life Changing Habits
Some examples from my life
- Run on the treadmill twice a week, 30 minutes every time
- Do sit ups twice a week, 120 times per session
- Read books on the subway to the office 30 minutes every working day
- Meditate in the taxi or in the buss on the way to the office 20 minutes every working day
- Take the guitar lesson every Saturday, 30 minutes
- Get the hair cut every two weeks and enjoy the massage at the hair salon
- Practice guitar every day after the dinner, about 30 to 45 minutes
- Join the dinner and talk with my wife, when she is late for dinner
- Wash-up dishes at every weekend
- Write down any title ideas for blog, when ever it comes into mind
- Write blog entries twice every week
- Say thanks to the taxi drive every time, independently of his mood
- Smile to the receptionist every time I pass by the reception of our office
- Make sincere compliments to any one around when there is a good reason
- Coach regularly colleagues or friends for any professional, management issues
- Go monthly to the gathering of the German Expat Community in Shanghai
These are the things which make evolutional change of my life. Add, delete or modify any of those things will shift my life’s focus, consciously or unconsciously.
Life Changing Moments
Some of my life changing moments are
- Met a passionate mathematic teacher so I started to love mathematics
- Passed the University Entry Examination so I entered into one of the best Universities in Shanghai
- Selected to the student exchange program so I could study in German
- Fall in love with a girl secretly who is interested in philosophy so I started to be interested in philosophy, religions, success teachings
- Met my wife so I am married for 23 years
- Kids were born so I enjoy the real family life in its full abundance
- Finished the PhD so I got a job in Germany
- Moved back to Shanghai so I rediscover the whole new aspects of life
These are things that revolutionized my life. Some of those things I planned. Others just happened without slightest hints in advances.
Life Changing Habits
Some examples from my life
- Run on the treadmill twice a week, 30 minutes every time
- Do sit ups twice a week, 120 times per session
- Read books on the subway to the office 30 minutes every working day
- Meditate in the taxi or in the buss on the way to the office 20 minutes every working day
- Take the guitar lesson every Saturday, 30 minutes
- Get the hair cut every two weeks and enjoy the massage at the hair salon
- Practice guitar every day after the dinner, about 30 to 45 minutes
- Join the dinner and talk with my wife, when she is late for dinner
- Wash-up dishes at every weekend
- Write down any title ideas for blog, when ever it comes into mind
- Write blog entries twice every week
- Say thanks to the taxi drive every time, independently of his mood
- Smile to the receptionist every time I pass by the reception of our office
- Make sincere compliments to any one around when there is a good reason
- Coach regularly colleagues or friends for any professional, management issues
- Go monthly to the gathering of the German Expat Community in Shanghai
These are the things which make evolutional change of my life. Add, delete or modify any of those things will shift my life’s focus, consciously or unconsciously.
Monday, May 11, 2009
Selective Memories: Improve Your Live Instantly
Years ago I learnt a method to improve my achievements. It is called success book. It tells you to write down every success during a day, big or small. That way you are much aware of your success. You can also create a love book or happiness book.
I know a woman who is very bright. She tells every small or big positive aspect of her life to everyone she likes, when she bought new shoes, new clothes, new jewelry, when she started to learn a new language or new music instrument, when she visited a new bar or restaurant, when she tried a new spa or ate a delicious cake.
On the other side when something negative happened to her, for example a car accident, she tried to remember the good side of it, e.g. the guy was nice or fortunately the cost of the repair was all covered by the insurance.
From above two examples I realize that maybe initially what happened did not really change. But if you emphasize the positive side of the reality, the positive side will have more weight to you. You select the things to remember you like. By any time of your life, it is not what you really have experienced, but what you can remember, will make up your (subjective) reality.
At the second stage however, when you get used to focus on the bright side of your life, your mood will be better, you will have higher energy level and you will have better judgment and make better decisions which will change your quality of live, improve your efficiency and increase your level of happiness.
I know a woman who is very bright. She tells every small or big positive aspect of her life to everyone she likes, when she bought new shoes, new clothes, new jewelry, when she started to learn a new language or new music instrument, when she visited a new bar or restaurant, when she tried a new spa or ate a delicious cake.
On the other side when something negative happened to her, for example a car accident, she tried to remember the good side of it, e.g. the guy was nice or fortunately the cost of the repair was all covered by the insurance.
From above two examples I realize that maybe initially what happened did not really change. But if you emphasize the positive side of the reality, the positive side will have more weight to you. You select the things to remember you like. By any time of your life, it is not what you really have experienced, but what you can remember, will make up your (subjective) reality.
At the second stage however, when you get used to focus on the bright side of your life, your mood will be better, you will have higher energy level and you will have better judgment and make better decisions which will change your quality of live, improve your efficiency and increase your level of happiness.
Friday, May 8, 2009
Motivation Factor Number ONE: Sense of Purpose
On the way to the office this morning, I observed 2 elderly people, maybe aged at 70, standing next to the traffic light, directing the flow of the walkers crossing the street. The temperature was 31 °C. Both of them wore a sign: Volunteer.
Then I observed some young, nice dressed ladies in the air-conditioned office building with the best views to the Huangpu River, got bored for what they have to do, waiting for the clock to reach 5:30pm, so they can enjoy the night life in Shanghai.
So I start to question myself what really motivate people to work, not just to do an ordinary work, but a job with passion, independently on how much one gets paid for. I reflected to my own 23 years working experiences with all the emotional ups and downs and came to the conclusion that people need strong sense of purpose to work with passion.
For me the purposes are
1) When the work has a component of personal development, either for me or for other people.
2) When the work really creates values, either for the company, other people or for myself.
If none of the above exists, I tent to switch off my light and fire. I will still do a job well. But I may not go the extra miles.
I am pretty sure that every one has his own sense of purpose. The manager’s task is to find it out and to design the job for the subordinates such that it makes sense (of purpose) to them.
Then I observed some young, nice dressed ladies in the air-conditioned office building with the best views to the Huangpu River, got bored for what they have to do, waiting for the clock to reach 5:30pm, so they can enjoy the night life in Shanghai.
So I start to question myself what really motivate people to work, not just to do an ordinary work, but a job with passion, independently on how much one gets paid for. I reflected to my own 23 years working experiences with all the emotional ups and downs and came to the conclusion that people need strong sense of purpose to work with passion.
For me the purposes are
1) When the work has a component of personal development, either for me or for other people.
2) When the work really creates values, either for the company, other people or for myself.
If none of the above exists, I tent to switch off my light and fire. I will still do a job well. But I may not go the extra miles.
I am pretty sure that every one has his own sense of purpose. The manager’s task is to find it out and to design the job for the subordinates such that it makes sense (of purpose) to them.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Good Manager and Bad Manager
On the shuttle bus back to home my human resource colleagues and I discussed about what is the definition of a good or bad manager. I offered the following definition that surprised them and also myself. See if you would agree or disagree:
Good managers make from bad employees good employees.
Bad managers make from good employees bad employees.
Let me give you an example. Some years ago I was about to hire an employee and before the final decision I called his current manager and asked, how would he rate this employee’s performance from the scale 1 to 5 with 1 the highest. He said 3 to 4 the best cases. He told me the reasons about his judgment and I listen carefully. Finally, I asked him what he would recommend me to do to make this employee grade 1 by end of this year. He hesitated and said: “You do not really want to do so.” Meaning, he is hopeless, do not even try.
At the end I trusted my instinct and hired him. First, I figured out, what he is really good at. Second, I figured out, what would motivate him. Then I called him for a meeting and told him: “I see in you great potential to grow in the organization, because you always create a positive environment. When you focus on your strengths and do the things you can do best, I see for you the possibility to take over my job, when I move on.”
During the whole year I tried to reinstall his reputation by giving him responsibilities he could handle well and he liked to do. We had constant feedback sessions about how to improve the performance and the perception of other people. By end of the year, his achievements are recognized by a lot of people, including my boss. This employee got a deserved promotion.
I remember a statement by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe: “Treat them as they are, they will become worse. Treat them as they should be, they will become better.”
Good managers make from bad employees good employees.
Bad managers make from good employees bad employees.
Let me give you an example. Some years ago I was about to hire an employee and before the final decision I called his current manager and asked, how would he rate this employee’s performance from the scale 1 to 5 with 1 the highest. He said 3 to 4 the best cases. He told me the reasons about his judgment and I listen carefully. Finally, I asked him what he would recommend me to do to make this employee grade 1 by end of this year. He hesitated and said: “You do not really want to do so.” Meaning, he is hopeless, do not even try.
At the end I trusted my instinct and hired him. First, I figured out, what he is really good at. Second, I figured out, what would motivate him. Then I called him for a meeting and told him: “I see in you great potential to grow in the organization, because you always create a positive environment. When you focus on your strengths and do the things you can do best, I see for you the possibility to take over my job, when I move on.”
During the whole year I tried to reinstall his reputation by giving him responsibilities he could handle well and he liked to do. We had constant feedback sessions about how to improve the performance and the perception of other people. By end of the year, his achievements are recognized by a lot of people, including my boss. This employee got a deserved promotion.
I remember a statement by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe: “Treat them as they are, they will become worse. Treat them as they should be, they will become better.”
Monday, May 4, 2009
Leaders, Experts and Running Dogs
In a large company, there are three eminent ways to position yourself: leader, expert or running dog. And there are other 80% of people who positioned themselves some where in between, they can be put in any position, moved around, sent to any location and laid off, when necessary.
Leaders
Definition: one who influences a group of people towards the achievement of a goal.
Advantages: Leaders live up their dreams, they create constantly gaps between themselves and their followers. They are innovative, positive, full of energy. They drive themselves, others and the company to some places where they never have been before.
Risks: Some times they can drive other people crazy and themselves to get a heart attack. Another risk is described by a Chinese proverb: we can not have two tigers on one mountain. I have seen again and again: a new leader stepped in and the old one have to leave. As a leader, you often have to be prepared for new challenges.
Experts
Definition: one with the special skill or knowledge representing mastery of a particular subject (Merriam Webster Online)
Advantages: who ever the leader is in a group, experts always have the save harbor, because all leaders need people to work, to produce results, to develop products, to create marketing materials, to sell and to deliver. And experts do not form any threats to a leader. They have no chance or ambition to replace the leader.
Risks: When market or technology shift, expertise can become obsolete. So open your eyes and mind and continuously renew and improve your expert areas.
Running dogs:
Definition: one who blindly follows someone else's orders (Merriam Webster Online)
Advantages: Running dogs are much better off than their reputation. As long as the leader is in charge, running dogs are more than save. Since they usually do not have strong characteristics, they are protected by the leaders. Running dogs have usually high level of skills. They are generalists who can do any type of works pretty well.
Risks: When the leader leaves, running dogs are likely to lose their jobs, since they did not develop skills to survive without the leader. And some times they have opportunity to be promoted, when their leader step up. In this case, there is a chance of failure, since they never know how to lead and drive others.
How are you positioned in your company, a leader, an expert or a running dog? Or some where in between? Do you want to change your positioning or do to want to strengthen your positioning? See also Your Value as Expatriate.
Leaders
Definition: one who influences a group of people towards the achievement of a goal.
Advantages: Leaders live up their dreams, they create constantly gaps between themselves and their followers. They are innovative, positive, full of energy. They drive themselves, others and the company to some places where they never have been before.
Risks: Some times they can drive other people crazy and themselves to get a heart attack. Another risk is described by a Chinese proverb: we can not have two tigers on one mountain. I have seen again and again: a new leader stepped in and the old one have to leave. As a leader, you often have to be prepared for new challenges.
Experts
Definition: one with the special skill or knowledge representing mastery of a particular subject (Merriam Webster Online)
Advantages: who ever the leader is in a group, experts always have the save harbor, because all leaders need people to work, to produce results, to develop products, to create marketing materials, to sell and to deliver. And experts do not form any threats to a leader. They have no chance or ambition to replace the leader.
Risks: When market or technology shift, expertise can become obsolete. So open your eyes and mind and continuously renew and improve your expert areas.
Running dogs:
Definition: one who blindly follows someone else's orders (Merriam Webster Online)
Advantages: Running dogs are much better off than their reputation. As long as the leader is in charge, running dogs are more than save. Since they usually do not have strong characteristics, they are protected by the leaders. Running dogs have usually high level of skills. They are generalists who can do any type of works pretty well.
Risks: When the leader leaves, running dogs are likely to lose their jobs, since they did not develop skills to survive without the leader. And some times they have opportunity to be promoted, when their leader step up. In this case, there is a chance of failure, since they never know how to lead and drive others.
How are you positioned in your company, a leader, an expert or a running dog? Or some where in between? Do you want to change your positioning or do to want to strengthen your positioning? See also Your Value as Expatriate.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Emotional Write Offs
Are you an investor? Do you feel some times that you hold an investment too long, an investment which gets you nowhere, but you can’t just get rid of it, because it cost you already too much money, time and energy?
The same can happen with your emotional reality. Here an example. Let say you fall in love with some one who has absolutely no bridge to your emotional world. You tried to date with her, make presents, send flowers, send letters, emails, sms, make phone calls, say nice words, make compliments, take care of her where ever possible. But there is absolutely no response and no return. You get mad and can not concentrate on your work, but have to think of her, knowing with the certainty that it will get you nowhere.
What would you do? You say to yourself: “Stop. I made a terrible mistake in this emotional investment. And now I have to write off this investment.”
Close your eyes and start to imagine, that every thing from her is getting out from your body, your heart, your mind, slowly, but surely, away from you, to a far destination, that you do not know and do not care. Imagine that you can absolutely live in peace and harmony with the remaining pure YOU.
Say to her in your mind: “Good bye and good luck.”
Practice this more times, until nothing of her is left. Then you completed the write-off of your emotional investment. It is really as easy as like that.
The same can happen with your emotional reality. Here an example. Let say you fall in love with some one who has absolutely no bridge to your emotional world. You tried to date with her, make presents, send flowers, send letters, emails, sms, make phone calls, say nice words, make compliments, take care of her where ever possible. But there is absolutely no response and no return. You get mad and can not concentrate on your work, but have to think of her, knowing with the certainty that it will get you nowhere.
What would you do? You say to yourself: “Stop. I made a terrible mistake in this emotional investment. And now I have to write off this investment.”
Close your eyes and start to imagine, that every thing from her is getting out from your body, your heart, your mind, slowly, but surely, away from you, to a far destination, that you do not know and do not care. Imagine that you can absolutely live in peace and harmony with the remaining pure YOU.
Say to her in your mind: “Good bye and good luck.”
Practice this more times, until nothing of her is left. Then you completed the write-off of your emotional investment. It is really as easy as like that.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Worst and Best Case Strategy for Any Change
There is a strategy you can apply as a manager for any change in your professional and private life. I called this Worst and Best Case Strategy. It starts like this:
1) Ask yourself, what would be the worst case in this situation. Then find a person whom you know as the most negative, pessimistic one. Ask his/her view. Also a negative person has a great value here.
2) Accept that the worst case can really happen. When it happened, in which way can you accept it and re-organize your professional/private life in peace with it? How can you get out the most from this case?
3) Then use all your imaginations to define the best case. Talk with a most positive, creative, dreaming friend you know. Ask his/her view. Ask what all you can do to achieve the best case.
4) Your job is to do everything to improve the worst case and do everything to get as close as possible to the best case.
5) What finally comes out by your efforts might be some where between the worst and the best case. So you can be happy that the worst case did not happen and you are motivated to continue your efforts, because you have still room for improvements.
6) The best thing here is that you always focus on the actions and do not worry about uncertainties and possibilities.
A smart strategy, isn’t it?
1) Ask yourself, what would be the worst case in this situation. Then find a person whom you know as the most negative, pessimistic one. Ask his/her view. Also a negative person has a great value here.
2) Accept that the worst case can really happen. When it happened, in which way can you accept it and re-organize your professional/private life in peace with it? How can you get out the most from this case?
3) Then use all your imaginations to define the best case. Talk with a most positive, creative, dreaming friend you know. Ask his/her view. Ask what all you can do to achieve the best case.
4) Your job is to do everything to improve the worst case and do everything to get as close as possible to the best case.
5) What finally comes out by your efforts might be some where between the worst and the best case. So you can be happy that the worst case did not happen and you are motivated to continue your efforts, because you have still room for improvements.
6) The best thing here is that you always focus on the actions and do not worry about uncertainties and possibilities.
A smart strategy, isn’t it?
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
What Are Your Employees Really Looking For Most?
I meet weekly a manager for lunch to discuss management issues we face. And here is the conversation once we had:
I: “What do you think is the most important thing all employees are looking for?”
He: “hmmm...”
I: “They are all desperately looking for recognition.”
He: “How do you come to that conclusion?”
I: “Why do you think they work hard until late night? Why do you think they come to ask for promotion or salary increase? Why do you think they are sometimes lack of motivation?”
He: “They want to earn recognition, claim for recognition and strike for recognition.”
I: “But why do we pay so little attention to giving recognition?”
He: “Because we do not get enough recognition ourselves, so why should we give to others? We are more often beaten up than recognized.”
I: “Yes. This is the turning point. Even we do not get enough recognition, there are no logical reasons why we should not give it freely and generously to others. It is for free in most cases and there is immediate return. The more you give recognitions to others, the more you will receive from others. It is similar like love.”
He: “This is really a great conversation. Thanks.” :-)
I: “You are a quick learner.” :-)
I: “What do you think is the most important thing all employees are looking for?”
He: “hmmm...”
I: “They are all desperately looking for recognition.”
He: “How do you come to that conclusion?”
I: “Why do you think they work hard until late night? Why do you think they come to ask for promotion or salary increase? Why do you think they are sometimes lack of motivation?”
He: “They want to earn recognition, claim for recognition and strike for recognition.”
I: “But why do we pay so little attention to giving recognition?”
He: “Because we do not get enough recognition ourselves, so why should we give to others? We are more often beaten up than recognized.”
I: “Yes. This is the turning point. Even we do not get enough recognition, there are no logical reasons why we should not give it freely and generously to others. It is for free in most cases and there is immediate return. The more you give recognitions to others, the more you will receive from others. It is similar like love.”
He: “This is really a great conversation. Thanks.” :-)
I: “You are a quick learner.” :-)
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