Yesterday a coaching colleague asked me a very fundamental question: what is your special and unique coaching approach (Auf Deutsch: Coaching Ansatz). At that time I was unclear. This morning I got an answer: coca! Client Oriented Coaching Approach. (Copy Right Notice: All Right Reserved. Please refer to the origination when you use this name.) (Auf Deutsch: Klienten Orientierten Coaching Ansatz: KOCA)
Coca is based on three believes:
1) Coaching is vehicle: Coaching is nothing else than a tool to bring SOMETHING from A to B. The original meaning of coach is vehicle. Therefore all the tools and methods are allowed in the coaching, which meet this purpose. The only question remains: is this specific method or tool effective and efficient? There is no dogma.
2) Beyond the Boundary of I: in the traditional coaching approaches there are two parties involved: the coach and the coachee (client), as separated entities. However, this view limits us from the fact that coach and coachee build actually a system with very special relationship. They stay in an energy field. Coaching is about to bring this energy field to somewhere.
3) Time and space are illusions: Once it is clear where this energy field should go, then the way of coaching can be obtained. Sometimes face to face sessions with systemic questions and answers(see "Beratung ohne Ratschlag" by Sonja Radaz) can be the most effective way, some times to tell a story is the simplest approach, sometimes email communication can work wonderfully. Some times meditation can reach extra ordinary results. To realize the enlightment it can take a single question at this moment or a whole life of suffering. So the coaching contract should be more focused on the clear defined outcomes. The duration or the ways are secondary questions.
Therefore to select a right coach it is important to know and feel if you can come along with him/her and if the coach has the wisdom and flexibility to chose with you the most cost effective and results oriented way for your very special issues.
Showing posts with label Belief. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Belief. Show all posts
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Everything Is Easy
My guitar teacher once told me: „If you practice guitar correctly, it should be easy and it should not take long hours. Why? If you practice in a wrong way, the more you practice the more difficult for you to unlearn the bad habits.“
When I think back, I realize that all the major mile stones in my life were coming without any struggles:
1. I was nominated for a university exchange program to Germany without any efforts from my side.
2. I got my first job without lengthy recruiting process. I contacted a former PhD student of my PhD Professor. And that was it.
3. I met my wife coincidently in my friend apartment in Cologne. I wrote her a letter. Few years later we got married, until today, 25 years later.
4. The chance to go back to Shanghai as Expatriate came without any efforts from my side.
In contrast I put a lot of efforts, energy in some projects which did not succeed as I would have wished. My conclusion is, if you do the things in the right way, it should be easy. It should come naturally to success.
When I observe how people work in some companies, I found out that people who work long hours and unhappy are usually people who often create cost of non-quality. They try to fight in all fronts and try to maximise ambiguous benefits. It is doubtable that they create more value overall for the company and for the customers than other people in the company.
Life should be easy, if your mind, body and soul are in perfect alignment.
Life should be easy, if you extend your boundary as broader as you can image.
Life should be easy, if you have complete clarify about what you want to achieve.
Life should be easy, if you are certain that you will eventually achieve your goals.
Life should be easy, if you live your passion and dreams.
Life should be easy, if you take time to enjoy it.
Life should be easy, if you love everything around you including yourself.
When I think back, I realize that all the major mile stones in my life were coming without any struggles:
1. I was nominated for a university exchange program to Germany without any efforts from my side.
2. I got my first job without lengthy recruiting process. I contacted a former PhD student of my PhD Professor. And that was it.
3. I met my wife coincidently in my friend apartment in Cologne. I wrote her a letter. Few years later we got married, until today, 25 years later.
4. The chance to go back to Shanghai as Expatriate came without any efforts from my side.
In contrast I put a lot of efforts, energy in some projects which did not succeed as I would have wished. My conclusion is, if you do the things in the right way, it should be easy. It should come naturally to success.
When I observe how people work in some companies, I found out that people who work long hours and unhappy are usually people who often create cost of non-quality. They try to fight in all fronts and try to maximise ambiguous benefits. It is doubtable that they create more value overall for the company and for the customers than other people in the company.
Life should be easy, if your mind, body and soul are in perfect alignment.
Life should be easy, if you extend your boundary as broader as you can image.
Life should be easy, if you have complete clarify about what you want to achieve.
Life should be easy, if you are certain that you will eventually achieve your goals.
Life should be easy, if you live your passion and dreams.
Life should be easy, if you take time to enjoy it.
Life should be easy, if you love everything around you including yourself.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
The Way to Mastery
The week before summer vacation, my guitar teacher requested his students to practice playing guitar three hours daily during the vacation. They should do it in three different time of the day with one hour each time to improve the efficiency.
“Three hours a day? That is impossible”, complained one student.
“I already have difficulties to practice one hour per day now”, said the other.
My guitar teacher smiled and asked: “Do you know how long I practice when I started guitar lessons at age of four?”
He paused and waited for the reaction of his students. They were quiet and curious to learn what their teacher has to say.
“Four hours a day, at age of four.” He emphasized his age.
The students who complained felt ashamed, but were still reluctant to commit the three hours.
The teacher continued: “Four hours a day is just for the beginning. After some experiences my practicing time increased to eight hours a day.”
“Waw.” The students opened the mouths and eyes wildly.
“After some more experiences I increased my practicing time to twelve hours a day.”
By that time I realize how my guitar teacher can work 16 hours with a regular job at the government institute and a full time guitar teaching job.
The room was filled with silence. No one was able to make any tone. The teacher went on: “I know you all want to play the instrument well. You want to make a difference in your life. And you want to have fun playing it. However, any remarkable achievement is tightly linked with efforts and persistence, some times with pain and suffering. This is the way of mastery, maybe the only way.”
“Three hours a day? That is impossible”, complained one student.
“I already have difficulties to practice one hour per day now”, said the other.
My guitar teacher smiled and asked: “Do you know how long I practice when I started guitar lessons at age of four?”
He paused and waited for the reaction of his students. They were quiet and curious to learn what their teacher has to say.
“Four hours a day, at age of four.” He emphasized his age.
The students who complained felt ashamed, but were still reluctant to commit the three hours.
The teacher continued: “Four hours a day is just for the beginning. After some experiences my practicing time increased to eight hours a day.”
“Waw.” The students opened the mouths and eyes wildly.
“After some more experiences I increased my practicing time to twelve hours a day.”
By that time I realize how my guitar teacher can work 16 hours with a regular job at the government institute and a full time guitar teaching job.
The room was filled with silence. No one was able to make any tone. The teacher went on: “I know you all want to play the instrument well. You want to make a difference in your life. And you want to have fun playing it. However, any remarkable achievement is tightly linked with efforts and persistence, some times with pain and suffering. This is the way of mastery, maybe the only way.”
Monday, July 6, 2009
How to Raise Children Effectively? Continued
Last Friday we went to an India Restaurant at the Hong Mei Entertainment Street to celebrate for my second daughter Katharine receiving the school certificates. We are all very proud that she ended up with the second best student at her level. We are proud because she was not always liked that as her sister.
After she graded from primary school to high school (Gymnasium), she was pending between the score of 2 to 4 (with 1 the best and 6 the worst). My wife tried to help her to be better and educated her to be more disciplined. We knew that she is intelligent and talented in many ways. But my wife and she struggled for a long time. And one day I decided to try a new method that I learned from leadership training: making the change seems to be easy.
One day in a very casual atmosphere I spoke to Katherine: “Look. Would you try one thing for me? Try to improve only one point in only one subject, what ever subject you would like to chose, while remain the scores for all other subjects the same during the next semester.” It sounded for her to be easy to achieve, so she promised: “I will try.”
By the end of the semester, she improved one point not only in one subject, but in three subjects. We were very happy. We did not make more ambitions goal for her, but told her: “That is great achievement. For the next semester, would you try only to improve one point for only one subject you chose, based on your current performance.” She confidently said: “Yes. I will try.”
During all the semesters she continuously put more efforts. And the result today is really impressive with the average score of 1.3. In addition she has a great interest and talent in music and playing well guitar.
I believe that because of the pressure in the industries the management often set too high goals for people to fail, not to achieve. And while people fail, they develop a habit of failing and lose confidence in achieving. Since they can not meet the goals anyhow, why should they bother even to make any efforts?
What we can learn from Katharine is to make changes or improvements seem to be easy, so we can succeed and we have the ambition to overachieve, not because of the pressure coming from outside, but because of the inner drive to be the best we can be!
After she graded from primary school to high school (Gymnasium), she was pending between the score of 2 to 4 (with 1 the best and 6 the worst). My wife tried to help her to be better and educated her to be more disciplined. We knew that she is intelligent and talented in many ways. But my wife and she struggled for a long time. And one day I decided to try a new method that I learned from leadership training: making the change seems to be easy.
One day in a very casual atmosphere I spoke to Katherine: “Look. Would you try one thing for me? Try to improve only one point in only one subject, what ever subject you would like to chose, while remain the scores for all other subjects the same during the next semester.” It sounded for her to be easy to achieve, so she promised: “I will try.”
By the end of the semester, she improved one point not only in one subject, but in three subjects. We were very happy. We did not make more ambitions goal for her, but told her: “That is great achievement. For the next semester, would you try only to improve one point for only one subject you chose, based on your current performance.” She confidently said: “Yes. I will try.”
During all the semesters she continuously put more efforts. And the result today is really impressive with the average score of 1.3. In addition she has a great interest and talent in music and playing well guitar.
I believe that because of the pressure in the industries the management often set too high goals for people to fail, not to achieve. And while people fail, they develop a habit of failing and lose confidence in achieving. Since they can not meet the goals anyhow, why should they bother even to make any efforts?
What we can learn from Katharine is to make changes or improvements seem to be easy, so we can succeed and we have the ambition to overachieve, not because of the pressure coming from outside, but because of the inner drive to be the best we can be!
Friday, June 26, 2009
Do You Believe in Destiny?
Here is a real life SMS (short messages via mobile phone) communication:
Friend: “Do you believe in destiny?”
Me: “Yes. A destiny YOU have created.”
Friend: “Do you mean my characters?”
Me: “No. Your predominantly habitual way of thinking.”
Friend: “I see…”
Me: “Read the book ‘The Secret’ by Rhonda Byrne.”
Friend: “Just ordered the book on line.”
A SMS communication like this probably changed one person’s life, forever. More than 25 years ago I decided to enter into Telecommunications, because I believed that this is the area that has huge impact on people’s live.
More for the Secret:
Friend: “Do you believe in destiny?”
Me: “Yes. A destiny YOU have created.”
Friend: “Do you mean my characters?”
Me: “No. Your predominantly habitual way of thinking.”
Friend: “I see…”
Me: “Read the book ‘The Secret’ by Rhonda Byrne.”
Friend: “Just ordered the book on line.”
A SMS communication like this probably changed one person’s life, forever. More than 25 years ago I decided to enter into Telecommunications, because I believed that this is the area that has huge impact on people’s live.
More for the Secret:
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